not me, not my mom

~~
 Sept. 10

this just isn't right. it's not my life. not my mom who was diagnosed with a brain tumor in February. she didn't just go to the ER on Sunday afternoon to eventually find out from an MRI that there is another tumor. that's not what was causing her weakness the last couple weeks and why my dad had to carry her into the movie theater the other night when they wanted to do something fun for a change.

but it is.

i hate it. i hate it with a burning fire. i had plans for my mom, to see Greta graduate preschool, kindergarten, highschool and college. for her to see my future child or children. to be the grandma that she has been to my nieces and nephew. it's not fair and i'm pissed, angry, jealous...

they found a new tumor and the neurologist is only giving her weeks to a couple of months to live. 
~~

i wrote that a few weeks ago. i didn't know a few weeks ago if she'd still be here today, but she is and i'm thankful for that.

so, we started planning right away to go to Florida and Disney World the following week. we made memories... there was joy, laughter, tears, struggle, it was real life and it was a blast! there were times i went to bed at night and prayed that she would be awake in the morning. not because there was anything specific going on, just knowing it could happen any time was kinda scary. it still is.

my baby girl woke up, so i have to cut this short, she is one busy little girl now.

Here's a cute photo from the trip.

Having a blast at Animal Kingdom!