when we were kids, mom would sometimes wake us up with music... it was the 80s and early 90s... i remember in jr. high/high school when i'd just get so annoyed and try to bury my head in my pillow because i didn't want to get up, but it never helped....
on a similar but different note, she also liked to blare christian music when the Jehovah's Witnesses came to the neighborhood. she'd prop dad's big bose speakers up by the window and turn up the volume. when they came to the door, she'd talk with them extensively, i don't think to convert them but to get them thinking. as a kid in elementary school, i was always embarrassed.
in honor of the 80s christian music she loved, i have posted a handful of random songs that bring back memories.... scroll down to sample or to listen in full :)
Monday, February 24, 2014
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Petra - Beyond Belief Song(Original Music Video)
The blog wouldn't be complete without Petra... I almost forgot!!!!
David Meece - You can Go
this one I can hear her singing and dancing in that goofy hand punching to the beat way... oh man, if she were here now she'd do it still and we'd all laugh together :) i understand if you have to stop this one before the end... lol
Wayne Watson - Teenager in the house
I remember mom saying she was going to play this when Karen turned 13... she probably did... not sure about me :).... i cannot make out what the women are chanting in the "pre-chorus" something about "this is what can happen when..."
Sunday, February 16, 2014
New Life Worship - Great I Am
this song. gets me every time... except at the memorial service, i forget if i wrote
about that in any previous posts. the story is that throughout mom's
life when she would talk about her funeral/memorial service she'd say
how she didn't want "funeral drudges," people all wearing black, or
everyone being so somber, etc. etc. whenever i heard her say that i'd
say, "but mom, we'll be sad you're not here, i don't know how i couldn't
cry." she never said anything about tears, but i often associated it
that way, even though she wouldn't have wanted me to not "be real."
all of that to say, when it came down to the worship portion of the
service, there were no tears. at first i was thinking about it and so
surprised, and then i thought "okay, i'm going to sing/worship my heart
out since i am not overcome and sobbing." it was a beautiful thing for
me.
fast forward to today in church. i missed the first segment of worship before the message, but the ending worship song was "Great I Am"... and there were definitely tears and not being able
to sing. i hadn't been to church since the weekend after she passed, so the last time i had heard it was at the memorial service.
i have a feeling that church and worship in general will evoke this feeling in me for a long time to come, it's not an uncommon thing, it's just that it's the place where i become open and let my heart out to God, so i believe it will be an instrument of healing and grieving. mom, like me, so enjoyed worship in many different forms. i observed her open her heart even more in these most recent years at Substance Church services and the midweek meeting DEEPER Worship, to deeper places of worship as she would raise her hands and be ever more free to worship. up until that point, i had only seen her with hands close to her heart during worship. i know that everyone worships differently and just because you don't raise your hands doesn't mean you're not free in worship, but I just could feel a difference in her and it was an honor to watch.
my dad mentioned that if they were running late to church, she'd often head straight to the auditorium walking quickly ahead of him as not to miss a single phrase of worship. and she also would so often say "the worship was so great this morning!"
another favorite worship gathering she loved to attend and support was Heart of the City, which Dan and Sandy Adler started many years ago. i don't know if i'm speaking out of turn on behalf of my mom, but i think it is safe to say that Dan and Sandy's philosophy of worship really made an impact in her life, and definitely in mine as well. what i know i learned was that worship isn't just singing, and it also is so much about the heart. i am also going to post a song by Dan Adler called "We Choose to Bow" ... the style is much different than what most are used to now, but that's the beauty of a true heart of worship... i challenge you if it's not your usual style, to take a listen to this powerful song. I can hear my mom singing it :)
We Choose to Bow
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
first day back to work
today was my first day back to work. and tomorrow i don't have to work, thank the good lord, he knew after the first day i'd already need a break.
it didn't start out well this morning. 2mins after my 7am waking alarm went off, the phone rings and it's target. i'm half panicking half wondering if they're calling to say they made a scheduling taboo and i DON'T have to work. uh, WRONG, when would THAT ever happen?! back to reality. it's quite the opposite... "Hi Lisa, we're wondering if you could come in by 7:40 this morning, our opener called in?" me... "Umm... I'll do my best" click.
'frustration floods over me. really? on my first day back? to a place where the line is always 5deep at 7:57am (we open at 8am). noooo.. . .
. . .ok, i can do this without complaining. don't complain it just makes it worse. mom, why why why... i can do it. it'll be okay. maybe it won't be bad"
i continue to get ready as fast as i can.
upon arriving at work i find an LOD to punch me in (since i so willingly came in early, then proceed the walk to starbucks. as i pass the four etl's (store mgmt exec's) they don't pause in their conversation until i'm already passed them to say "oh good, thank you so much for coming in" as the back of my head is all they can see.
at this point, because of their lack of acknowledgement when they could've made eye contact, i wrote them off and didn't care to engage. i was angry. they didn't stop to tell me what the game plan was or if they had found someone that was going to cover for me. nobody knew it was my first day back.
as i started to try and open it was obvious i was on my own. i was overwhelmed and angry. i asked the deli team lead if she had a walkie and if someone could come over and then kind of shared my frustration and letting her know i didn't even know the recipe of the new drink. i was kind of being a baby about it all and had a hard time reeling it in. i was banging things around and at one point shared some of my angry opinions with the deli team lead about how i felt things should be handled differently when it came to call-ins.
all the while, i knew deep down, i was kind of being a baby about it all. i knew places to look for the new recipes and i knew how to open. the circumstances were just not ideal and i just couldn't cope very well with how it was going down. i didn't like the way i was behaving, but i felt like someone else should feel the frustration, too.
when the store opened i didn't have a single drip coffee ready. thankfully there was shockingly no line-up. there was one nice hispanic man very willing to wait for his grande pike place roast. he asked how my day was going and i said it could be better. he waited patiently and when it was finished wished me a better rest of the day and i wished his day well in return.
it continued on without being too busy, only a couple times before 9am did i have to call for back-up. people were pretty patient too.
okay. thanks god, you were lookin' out for me... you knew. i acknowledged that and was thankful to him.
a new to me employee came in at 9am, actually it was a former "regular" who i had talked to one night a few weeks previous when i saw her working behind the counter. i had told her about mom as Greta and i were about to go over there this one night. thankfully she knew and i didn't have to explain a thing.
about that time, i went in the back and saw the deli team lead and apologized for my crabby behavior. she received it graciously and told me if there was anyone to complain to it was her and that she understood. she was on a leave herself a few months ago, i believe in some sort of similar circumstance, and shared that her first day back was pretty awful too.
the rest of the day was mediocre, i honestly did my best to have a positive attitude, but i couldn't change my heart very well to "want" to be there... because i just didn't.
what do you say to the nice cashier whom you know, that is developmentally challenged, and asks you where you've been. i mean, it doesn't really matter that he has any challenge, it's just that what do you say? all i know is that i wasn't prepared for the question. i first said, "i was at home" (thinking to myself, 'well that sounds stupid, lisa') and then "my mom was sick" and i left it at that with a knot in my throat. i walked back to starbucks (we had been in the breakroom) on the verge of tears. i forget what kept me from spilling over, but something made me choke them back and I went on with the day.
in the end i figured that atleast i acknowledged my bad behavior and then displayed the best i could for the rest of the day, even though it wasn't a smile and filled with conversation.
it didn't start out well this morning. 2mins after my 7am waking alarm went off, the phone rings and it's target. i'm half panicking half wondering if they're calling to say they made a scheduling taboo and i DON'T have to work. uh, WRONG, when would THAT ever happen?! back to reality. it's quite the opposite... "Hi Lisa, we're wondering if you could come in by 7:40 this morning, our opener called in?" me... "Umm... I'll do my best" click.
'frustration floods over me. really? on my first day back? to a place where the line is always 5deep at 7:57am (we open at 8am). noooo.. . .
. . .ok, i can do this without complaining. don't complain it just makes it worse. mom, why why why... i can do it. it'll be okay. maybe it won't be bad"
i continue to get ready as fast as i can.
upon arriving at work i find an LOD to punch me in (since i so willingly came in early, then proceed the walk to starbucks. as i pass the four etl's (store mgmt exec's) they don't pause in their conversation until i'm already passed them to say "oh good, thank you so much for coming in" as the back of my head is all they can see.
at this point, because of their lack of acknowledgement when they could've made eye contact, i wrote them off and didn't care to engage. i was angry. they didn't stop to tell me what the game plan was or if they had found someone that was going to cover for me. nobody knew it was my first day back.
as i started to try and open it was obvious i was on my own. i was overwhelmed and angry. i asked the deli team lead if she had a walkie and if someone could come over and then kind of shared my frustration and letting her know i didn't even know the recipe of the new drink. i was kind of being a baby about it all and had a hard time reeling it in. i was banging things around and at one point shared some of my angry opinions with the deli team lead about how i felt things should be handled differently when it came to call-ins.
all the while, i knew deep down, i was kind of being a baby about it all. i knew places to look for the new recipes and i knew how to open. the circumstances were just not ideal and i just couldn't cope very well with how it was going down. i didn't like the way i was behaving, but i felt like someone else should feel the frustration, too.
when the store opened i didn't have a single drip coffee ready. thankfully there was shockingly no line-up. there was one nice hispanic man very willing to wait for his grande pike place roast. he asked how my day was going and i said it could be better. he waited patiently and when it was finished wished me a better rest of the day and i wished his day well in return.
it continued on without being too busy, only a couple times before 9am did i have to call for back-up. people were pretty patient too.
okay. thanks god, you were lookin' out for me... you knew. i acknowledged that and was thankful to him.
a new to me employee came in at 9am, actually it was a former "regular" who i had talked to one night a few weeks previous when i saw her working behind the counter. i had told her about mom as Greta and i were about to go over there this one night. thankfully she knew and i didn't have to explain a thing.
about that time, i went in the back and saw the deli team lead and apologized for my crabby behavior. she received it graciously and told me if there was anyone to complain to it was her and that she understood. she was on a leave herself a few months ago, i believe in some sort of similar circumstance, and shared that her first day back was pretty awful too.
the rest of the day was mediocre, i honestly did my best to have a positive attitude, but i couldn't change my heart very well to "want" to be there... because i just didn't.
what do you say to the nice cashier whom you know, that is developmentally challenged, and asks you where you've been. i mean, it doesn't really matter that he has any challenge, it's just that what do you say? all i know is that i wasn't prepared for the question. i first said, "i was at home" (thinking to myself, 'well that sounds stupid, lisa') and then "my mom was sick" and i left it at that with a knot in my throat. i walked back to starbucks (we had been in the breakroom) on the verge of tears. i forget what kept me from spilling over, but something made me choke them back and I went on with the day.
in the end i figured that atleast i acknowledged my bad behavior and then displayed the best i could for the rest of the day, even though it wasn't a smile and filled with conversation.
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